It was another mistake to attempt making him the right guy for me when he isn't. I've tried so hard to ignore reality, disregard risks and pretend everything's okay. I was selfish. I've come to the conclusion that we just took advantage of each other. I wanted to feel what everybody feels. I wanted to feel butterflies in my stomach, and I did. It lasted for a short span of time. Things got along but nothing goes and feels right. It's like someone who boasts so proudly and then in the end he gets guilty and ashamed of himself.

I was wrong wanting intimacy between us impatiently. I've considered everything about him but he rarely considers what I think. I guess my mind was blocked with temporary feelings and wrong point of views about him. I said things to him too fast. Not only did I just sin but it became my hobby as I indulged my self in daydreaming and wishful thinking.

But now it's over. I got over him. I've prayed to God and now I know what's really right and what's really wrong. I just had to wake up from this silly dream.