|
Writer
For the basics, I'm Aurea, most of the people around me call me Rea. I'm still a student, not just in school but also in life.
I'm someone who wants to write and savour the things in life and what I've learned in it.
I am already convinced that there is a God and that my life has a purpose.
I've been in the Philippines since I was born and soon enough, I'll travel the world
with the one I'm meant to be with.I am so thirsty for experience. I constantly kiss change for the better. |
|
|
about this blog
This blog is to the memories I've treasured. This is to the people that kept me living and kept me intact with who I'm supposed to be. This is for my creator who planned my life.
tagboard
affiliates
none at the moment.
archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: Photobucket Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
I've recently seen my old blog posts and I know some of them are pretty retarded, to be honest. I have different perceptions now, and i enjoy life so much more since i started to shift my attention to the brighter side. I have taken risks that are worth it. I worked for things and I got my reward for it. I got what I wanted to get and there's no need to rush because i'm young. No, i'm not proud. I have nothing to be proud of.. yet. I've been so naive and stupid about growing old and being free. It's not all about experiencing the world out there, it's also about being ready for it. My mom helped me realize this, even if I was too hard-headed... Mom staying at home is helping me become more matured. It was so hard making adjustments for her though because I was really used to her not being around. Fuck that. My family is not perfect BUT they have been helping me so much. All these years and learning would never be applicable if they were never there to remind me that maturity is doing the right things, not just knowing them. I had to pause for a moment because she's here in the living room with me and it's awkward and it always has been and I hate it. I've hated her ever since I was a kid. So what if she gave me gadgets and stuff? It's like she never supported me and shit. I know, i know I sound so raged but believe me.. It's like she NEVER agreed to anything I say and she never appreciated anything I do. I was always recognized for messing things up for her. I could go on forever but my mom is not the gist of this blog post. If ever she reads this, she knows my hurt. I always look for motivation. I'm glad i'm emotionally stable even though I have a boyfriend. Discipline has helped me to be less dependent on my boyfriend and I just love him so much. We've worked things out and our relationship's getting better. I love you, Raymond. I will, forever. You and I are like coffee and bread and that's all we'll ever need. I know i suck ass but I'll improve for the ones I love. I miss my girl best friend. You busy bitch.
Hello there world. Let me start by saying that college is crazy but I've been doing good. My first week was fine, i was able to make friends with some girls and boys around me but it will never be like it was in high school. There really shouldn't be any comparison as to high school and college because you undergo both of them at different time spans of your life, if high school was your training ground then college is the battlefield. You can't go to the battlefield without training yourself. I am more than proud about my training ground because I know I'm ready(well, a bit). My school's fine.. Except the fact that every girl in it is pressured to look good and appear good which is NOT good. Half of the population of the female students in our school either have their hair permed or straightened. What's happening to the natural look these days? Ugh. Sweet 16
Another year older tomorrow and I can't wait to grow older. This young age of mine has been the reason for a lot of restrictions from my parents and siblings and it's kind of annoying. I know I have to be patient and graduate college first before I do anything major about myself but I don't know, I feel like I can do things on my own now. Wow, maybe I'm going through this teenage stage where you just wanna be independent and all. I want a job already, I wanna earn and spend my own money.. Not my parents'. I wanna be free from my parents' restrictions and curfews, i wanna go outside the box. I wanna do what I want and this is my sweet 16 wish, to be free.
I did the right thing, that's all for now. I felt hurt again. I've never been this hurt.
March 31 - April 1: My section(Hebrews) and I had our farewell party. It was fine, I think. I used to be so excited about parties and swimming but I don't know why I wasn't so excited on this one. Maybe because I know it's not goodbye? Anyways, enough with the drama. Party started alright, we ate and stuff. Some were using the karaoke and some were already dressing up for a swim. I was just roaming around and having random conversations with everyone, especially to my 'best' friend in the room. Hours pass and same things were done. Normal stuff, you know until I decided to make a twist. I talked to this classmate of mine, I won't describe him that much(I'm sorry, I want to be confidential) but he's the opposite sex and we're really close. We talked about how our day went and how he thought about the party. It was casual at first as any conversation would start but then I entered personal topics. I'm glad it wasn't awkward sharing stuff to him. It felt like the old times since we used to talk all day about love, life and alike. It always felt comfortable talking to him about the way I felt since we are on the same level of maturity(I think so). I remember him sharing to me about his first love who he gave everything to and I kinda related to him. That connection blew me off. We talked about problems like we both were facing them at the same time because we would do the same thing. Then we started talking about how tired we were of loving. And then I realized that nothing does compare to your first love. Nothing compares to your first. It will always be unforgettable. First love just changed him so much and made him into a better person but first love is the love that makes you believe that everything lasts forever. First love is your vibrant youth that tells you it's okay to make promises because you know inside of you that it's him but he's actually not. First love makes you and then breaks you. I remember imagining spending my whole life with my actual first boyfriend. He was the one I wanted forever and I know that sounds so corny and unreal but I did talk that way and I did want him so much before. First love gives you that magic no one else could provide. That after that magic, everything else is an illusion because after that first love.. You know the tricks, you know the secrets and it hurts because first love is believing in something so much but in the end you realize that everything you've believed in is utter bull****. The first time my heart fell in love was the breaking and making point of my life. It made me the happiest person on earth to feel loved and to love but then it broke me apart to know that it can all end in just a moment.. That it can all change in just seconds, minutes and hours. First love morphed me into someone I never thought I'd be. Now, I don't even know if marriage is even necessary but I do know that I'll never have that desire to marry again with my first. Now I'm just so fed up. The things that once were so precious and dear to me are now the common things that I find and experience. Love, you just made me and broke me. But I'm glad I'm stronger, you know. I'm not chained anymore to the freshness of love and how stupid it can make you out to be. Expect the unexpected
Things are starting to turn around and everything's been going abnormal for me. Things are not happening the way they are supposed to be and I'm watching time pass by so fast. But it's thrilling, knowing that you're walking down that crazy road for yourself not for anyone's expectations. Some people might have screwed up big time in life but they have known what it's like to be in rare situations. Judgment is never necessary. We are all different from one another and judgment is a form of belittlement, for you are measuring other people through your standards and that doesn't seem right. We all have our ups and downs and who knows? Someone who walked pass you might have the biggest down in their life right now. My point is: don't judge and criticize people. You don't know what someone's going through because you're not in their shoes. You can't base your perception only to what you can see. A perfect example is; when someone smiles, it doesn't mean that they're happy. Don't look at one's faults and mishaps because it's theirs but be informed that faults and mishaps make a person a person. You can't point at someone's wounds and bruises especially when yours are larger and more fresh. JUDGMENT hurt people. It hurts your father, your mother, your sister, your brother and everyone around you. EXPECT less but EXPECT the unexpected, get ready for what's going to happen and learn to respect people for what they're going through. STOP talking too much and start LISTENING more. There's someone out there that might need your ears to listen to their hurt and pain and you might SAVE them. JUDGING other people will not improve humanity, it will only make things worse. SEE beyond what your eyes can see because EVERYTHING is not what it seems.
FAST
I can't believe that I let another person go. I hope I did the right thing.The pain will subside eventually and I'll be able to look back without bitterness. I know that. You are so beautiful but then again, I'm not the one for you. No matter how much I push you to be mine and to be in my hands for a long time, you have to be set free to realize the things you need to see. I, alone cannot be your cure and I also cannot be your point for change. It's your decision and maybe I want to help you by setting you free. Your shortcomings with our relationship wasn't what I cared about. I cared about you and the things you do that are not helping you. I hope you do understand. I'm sorry. |